Should Men Pay All The Bills?

I am fascinated by relationships, by our very human need for love and companionship, and everything in between. I am also a hopeless romantic, so everything about relationships to me, is beautiful. But we all know that this is not the reality and lately, the more I speak to people, the more it seems to me that the basis, the foundation, the crux, the soul, if you wish, of most relationships, is finance. It makes or breaks relationships, partnerships, marriages. If you are looking to find a husband or a wife, you better be ready to discuss finances I think.

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So without further ado, my big question really is; is the man responsible for taking care of the woman financially, whether they be boyfriend/girlfriend, partners, husband/wife? Should a man pay all the bills in the home should they be married and have children? Is the man responsible for paying the bills, whatever they may be? I spoke to men and women alike and what an interesting mix of responses.

Almost all the women I spoke to told me that they wanted to be with a man whom they were sure could take care of them. Women told me that the man had better be ready to pay for a trip to the salon, a vacation abroad, meals when they were out, gadgets including mobile phone credits, and shopping sprees. One person asked me of what use the man was if he could not provide for her?

“I equate love to gifts, if a man gives me stuff, then he clearly cares about me.” Another woman told me.

It depends on the relationship, if a man is wealthy, then it would not be a problem to provide for his woman. However, if he were struggling and earning a certain income like the woman, it may seem unreasonable to expect him to cater to everything. Someone said to me that men are providers, and feel much more happy and in control when they are able to provide for the people in their lives without having to ask the woman to contribute. But doesn’t it also depend on the relationship being shared by both parties? If both people are in a partnership built on a solid foundation of friendship and equality, then naturally most responsibilities will be shared fairly depending on income bracket. In this part of the world though, that seems far fetched, as most relationships are still very traditional, with the woman expected to be submissive to the man, the man is in control and is not necessarily accountable to her for his actions.

In order to maintain this position, a man is required to pay all the bills and occassionally give a monthly allowance to his woman. her responsibility is to take care of him and the home front, prepare the meals, raise the children, respect and honour him, and defer to him, even though she has a job. To women, when a man takes care of the finances, it makes it easier for them to submit and revere him as tradition/society requires. A friend once told me that she often found resentment in her heart, because her husband did not play any active role in the house, except grudgingly bankroll stuff. She had a job as a teacher which did not pay much, however, she was on her feet all day, and was exhausted by the time she got home. He insisted on freshly cooked meals, and would never get up when the baby cried at night.

I spoke to some men who told me that they could never be with a woman who makes more money than they did. This to them would be too dicey. Women can be quite mouthy and unable to control their emotions. More money would give a woman a big head, and she would very quickly slag off her husband and be disrespectful.

“She can keep her money, I will provide for my house. I am the head of the family.” Someone told me.

Again it depends on the situation, if a woman kept all her money and spent all the man’s income (if he’s not rich), will there be resentment at the end of the day on the man’s part? Will he wonder what she did with the stash she earns? A former colleague once told me that he was married to the most selfish “nuisance” (yes he called his wife that) on the face of the earth. Apparently, she refused to tell him how much she earned, but she knew his’. He could tell that she made quite a bit of money, about 10% less than he did, he knew because he determined the average salary of people on her grade level. Not only did he not know how much she earned, he paid for everything in the house including her personal items and “grooming” including brazillian hair which cost him as much as $1000, and which she proceeded to weave unto her scalp. He was nagged for months until he saved and paid for the fake hair. She would go off with her girlfriends and buy really stunning jewelry and beautiful shoes, and then ask him for money for food for the house and toiletries too.

It made him resentful because he could not treat himself much, as he was down to zero at the end of the month. On the other hand, some men require that their wives hand over their salary at the end of the month/on pay day. He then gives her what she needs from it. That shows that a woman is respectful of her husband and is submissive as stated in the good book. There are also scenarios where the woman pays for stuff and would do it through her husband so that he does not feel like less of a man. For example, there are casual workers who have come to fix the plumbing or the fence, she then gives him money to pay them. The dynamics of relationships are always very interesting.

I spoke to a few men and women who are quite progressive and told me that both parties must share all responsibilities; whether they be financial and/or domestic, if both parties have jobs. That way, everybody feels like they are part of the relationship and nobody feels used, or feels like a freeloader. These progressives believe that the two parties should split the bills if they are living under one roof. Two salaries/income streams are certainly good and can provide a better lifestyle for the couple and their family. With two incomes, it may be easier to live in a nice house, or perhaps take a vacation or buy a home. One person should only have to pay for stuff all the time should the other party be laid off from work.

Are women really golddiggers? This is the vibe I got from speaking to people. Men here say women are consistently nagging them for stuff. You take a woman out today, you are not even sure you want to see her again, and the next day, she’s calling you and trying to get you to buy her brazillian hair, or a new iPhone. Women on the other hand, say men are selfish and are consistently playing with multiple girls on the side, and that although they do not admit it, men like the power of wielding their wallets and get very intimidated once a woman wants to pick up the bill. If she does, she is arrogant, will never make a good partner in a relationship and is “showing herself”. I personally, will attempt to contribute on a date, and will look out for body language. If a man says no, I will never ask again, but will do other things like buy tickets so both of us can see something, or get dessert. It’s a path to be threaded carefully.

What do you think about finances in a relationship? Should a man pay all the bills? Have the times changed at all?



  1. skotty

    Should be shared! Usually, if a guy really likes a girl and they have the money, they will spend it on her. But I think guys appreciate when a woman brings out some cash as well… For herself and for her man.

    1. Anne Chia

      That is true, if a man likes a girl, he’ll like to share what he has with her. Sharing is great, but what does it mean for both parties, and under what cicumstances? Again the dynamics of the relationship and economic situation of both parties come to play I think. Thanks for reading and commenting

      1. RAB

        Chinese women feel they should not have to work and they should control all the money in the marriage. Even if debts are due they will buy something for themselves before paying any bills. This is even the scenario with American

  2. Star

    To m nd every reasonabl woman,u shld see ursef as a helpmate 2ur hubby.Buh at d same time,no man shld bully m into bringin my money.its somthn I shld do willingly out of lov

    1. Anne Chia

      Hmmm so is this bullying common in our relationships then? I think that sharing or “helping” is great. I do not think any party should be bullied or guilted into handing over his/her cash without willingness on each side. I have heard about men who ask their women to hand over paychecks! I have never been able to understand that. Even children keep their pocket money and spend it with parental guidance. What do you call this one? Spousal guidance?

  3. moi

    I am on an iPad so cannot give a detailed response, but the short answer is no, a guy shouldn’t have the pay for everything, it should be a two way street. I pay for most things, but then I earn more than my missus so that is understandable, but even there she will pay for some things.

    If I was dating someone and they did even offer to put their hand in their pocket, I wouldn’t bother pursuing that person further.

    1. Anne Chia

      Sounds like a balanced relationship to me. If you were out of work for an extended period, she would pay for more stuff obviously. But looks like you don’t have a traditional relationship so to say, I know you cook sometimes.

      1. moi

        I enjoy cooking 🙂 whilst there are lots I dont do that would traditionally be classed as work women would do in the house, i dont really subscribe to those ways as x, y and z is what a woman would do and a, b and c is what a man would do. I think those opinions are dated these days.

  4. Ijeoma

    The fact is; it is the man’s responsibility to take care of his family as the head of the household. Translation – men should pay the bills and whether a woman earns or not is secondary to that fact! Except she is widowed, no woman should try to wear the pants in the house. Of course there are a few rare situations where a woman could pay “some” bills if she has the money. An uncle of mine once told me that he isn’t interested in how much his wife earns, He is the man of the house and it’s his sole responsibility to provide for his family. His wife knowing that my uncle doesn’t give the devil’s care about her finances, decided to be spending some of her money on him perhaps to show him how much she appreciates his hard work. According to her, “my husband labors all day to put a roof over our head and I will make sure he does that looking as good as he possibly can!”
    Personally, I am put off by a man who from the beginning is interested in whether I have a job, how much I earn and then goes on and on about how much he loves independent women, blah the blah! That’s a sure sign for me that he is not confident in his ability to provide for me so he’s checking to see that I can take care of myself. As Erica Jong said, “Beware of the man who praises women’s liberation. He is about to quit his job.” Hehehe…Chiamy I could go on and on about this and take up all your blog space, so my whole point is: No man should expect or think for any reason whatsoever that his wife, partner or girlfriend should pay any, all or part of the bills!

    1. Anne Chia

      Thanks for reading and commenting. The Erica Jong comment is quite illuminating hahaha. There are certainly people who are “cleaners” and that applies to both sexes. To each his own I think. What am curious about though, is how the dynamics of a relationship in which one party paid for everything, would play out, if the “paying” party were to have a change in fortune; lose a job or experience bad luck/collapse of business.

    2. David

      Im a guy and a husband. I think the boyfriend or husband should pay all the bills even if he has to work 2 jobs or extra hours. Many men in todays society have become spoiled. Wives have to pull together and get back to old basics. If he really loves you and is healthy and can work…MAKE HIM PAY!….If the wife has credit cards…she shouldnt be afraid to use them…its a womans nature to shop….MAKE HIM PAY! The man was made to work…a relationship is work….MAKE HIM WORK and PAY!!!! Our marriage has always been built on that foundation and Im still alive…lol

      1. Anne Chia

        I thought your last line was really funny haha. I know many relationships work this way. But surely there must be a downside to letting a man pay all the bills?

      2. Veronica Jasso

        I couldn’t agree more a man should be the sole provider and should not count on his girlfriends/wife’s finances.

      3. Marriage

        It’s a win win with two incomes. My husband is rare- pays our bills online and does our taxes…. He makes me feel less worried and I know that I can give him my money and trust he does best with it. More relationships should be opened and more accounts should be shared. A lack of trust leads to Divorce.

    3. Tenn Letat

      I agree totally. Right now my husband’s mother has told him that I need to split the bills with him. I already feel uncomfortable with it. Up to now, I have been a housewife, plus I work from I contribute to the house but not as much in cash. I cover all the emergencies and trips. Plus, when we are short in the bank. Plus, I cook, clean and do all the grocery shopping and putting away.

      1. David

        My wife and I agree that men should pay the bills…but many people especially women disagree with that belief especially in today’s world. Lets face it people that think like us are apparently a dying breed. So rather than argue with them we will give them they’re space. Also I dont see anything wrong with a wife having fun shopping now and then at the husbands expense, even if its once a year she deserves that much. BUt ok, I will shut up now…

      2. KARKEN


      3. Frank Allen

        And since marriage is for life, it does not make sense to not work as a team financially. Of course when the wife is giving birth she ain’t gonna be working but what about after the kids become independent? Will she just do nothing!?!

    4. Budget_Chic

      Amen. It is the man’s responsibility to provide for his household. Roof, lights, water, gas, food and clothing. Medical care for his children. The wife’s role is to take care of the family emotional needs, provide nutrition, look after them when they are not feeling well and be supportive of her children needs and her husband’s and maintain the home. That’s MORE than enough. It is NOT her responsibility to go out and make money and take care of the household, that is out of order according to the scriptures. It put’s her in a position of dominance and authority over the household if she is the breadwinner. Again out of order.

    5. Ethan Smith

      That clearly makes women a weaker sex compared to men , who can’t take care of themselves and need a mans help for living, these clears the thing that women have nothing provide in a relationship and a disgrace to the human race

  5. Development Synergy

    Lovely post Anne! Indeed, finance matters can be an issue in a relationship. Well, on this side of the world…the men are expected to pay most of the bills however, I think its all gradually changing now. The reason is because, there are many women out there who are doing really well and earn good income. I think it all depends on the persons involved in the relationship. In my view, I do not see anything wrong in the women supporting in paying the bills. I have said ‘supporting’ because, sometime, when a woman is nice, it could be mistaken to mean something different. Ultimately, if they are honest and open to each other…money matters will likely cause little or no problem.

    1. Star

      Ijeoma, I think I lov ur balance.A real man should provide 4his household or atleast make reasonabl efforts to do so. On the other hand, bn a wise woman,I shld be willin enough 2b a good supporter in d home. Guys dnt make budgets or plans on ur womans money. A wisewoman wl lend u a hand when she sees d efforts u are making. When there’s openess nd healthy communication,U wnt need to verbalise ur need 4help

  6. fictioningdevelopment

    Annie, money is very important but does not make for all the asset in a relationship. I think women will rather suffer time poverty than suffer financial poverty. There should be a balance to money, time and all shared by the two to achieve wellbeing. No one should take privilege without responsibilities.

    1. Anne Chia

      You know, I never thought about it in the “time” context. Time is a critical part of any relationship, whether it is time spent with the partner, or time invested in making a life for one another. It seems reasonable that all resources are shared using a formular acceptable to both parties. Certainly nobody should take priviledges without responsibilities.

  7. Mary Okeke reviews

    To each his own. In the part of the world where I live, we both contribute in everything. Financially, emotionally, spiritually and totally. Once, it is a situation that affects the both of us. All the same, it also depends on the income, you contribute according to what you earn. You know like tax payers, where the rich has to pay more.

    1. Anne Chia

      Thanks for reading and commenting Mary. Invariably, culture and expectations have a lot of influence on how we live our lives. You know that here it is still quite traditional, whereas I may think it is only fair to share and support, the menfolk may regard it as effrontery 🙂 It is important to have a balanced relationship; like you mentioned, contributing in everything.

  8. jannatwrites

    Ooh, this is a hot topic! I’ve been married sixteen years, and in our relationship, we’ve both contributed equally. Early in the relationship, my husband made more money than me, but for the last five years, it has shifted. All of our money has gone into one account and I’ve done the finances for the last thirteen years or so. We each get the same weekly allotment of spending money and it’s not based on what we contribute.

    This is a different topic entirely, but the housework is where things are still unbalanced. I’d love to see him help with the cleaning more! To keep my resentment from building, there are things that I just refused to clean (his sink, his shower, etc.) and I get the kids involved with cleaning, too. I’m not the maid. We both have full-time jobs, so I think that’s fair 🙂

    1. Anne Chia

      Hahaha the short sentence before the last line made me laugh so hard! It is a very hot topic, and there are so many schools of thought on it. I think whatever works for a couple sans problems is “ideal”. If a relationship is at a point where both parties are comfortable with finances and level of effort around the house, then they are the lucky ones. Sounds to me like you’ve found your rhythm.
      Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN

      1. Sandie

        Women should be a helper/ but the man is built/ to provide. So in that no your role in the relationship both have to give

        Women= help mate

        Together = team

      2. Syd

        Humans mindset varies from generation to the next . Women roles has increased due to the financial increase through job opportunities and female neimg just as strong as men. So I feel it’s equal so the responsibilities should fall in that same line.

  9. Chinwe

    Here’s my two cents. I think it kinda depends on your relationship. But I would rather have the finances split up so that one person isn’t overburdened with all the financial responsibilities. With the state of the economy I would think it unfair to have just the men shoulder the entire financial responsibility just like how I think its unfair to relegate the entire house chores and responsibility to the woman. Relationships (depending on the kind you have) is a partnership. Two heads are better than one. Pulling resources would help both the man and woman reach their financial goals on time.
    But hey that’s just my opinion.

    1. Anne Chia

      I think the household chores portion is still very much left for the woman. I will look into doing a post on that soon. Times are indeed hard, global economies are struggling. Although a lot of people may not see it as they live their lives on a day to day basis, sharing as you mentioned may be the only way to deal with it and still have a good lifestyle. Thanks for stopping by Chinwe.

      1. David

        Sometimes I have to work extra hours but Im happy when my wifes happy. She likes to shop and i dont mind paying for it. I still manage to put a little away in the bank to.

      2. David

        Well maybe for some the money is tight. We all dont have the same ambition. I can understand that. But if we put our minds to something that we really want, we can get it to happen.

  10. David

    im not saying all wives should go out and get credit cards…i kinda worded it bad i guess….my wife likes shopping and living on the edge…and that was one of the things i liked about her. Maybe Im the same way. Its the kind of relationship we have, for us its hot. But keeping the cards payed is the challenge. you got to really love the other person to go that route. I dont think many couples are into charging as a fun thing. But then again we are all different.

      1. Anne Chia

        It is indeed David. I am just going through an incredibly busy phase as I am working towards a master’s degree. Term finishes next week and I break for 2 months. Expect lots of interesting stuff then. Thanks for checking in, I hope you are well 🙂

  11. purity1190

    A sucessful relationship should be built on love and understanding with trust, financial differences shouldn’t be a problem. Both parties should understand that love is not exploitative, with that they can both settle. But i personally do not seem to understand why men feel disturbed and see a woman been arrogant when she tries to help financially….

    1. Anne Chia

      All very true. I think it is because of the way society has certain expectations of a man and a woman, to the extent that both parties internalise these gender roles and can feel quite threatened when it seems the other party is encroaching. To each their own I suppose. Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment.

  12. yetunde

    I’m actually trying to decide this now & because im an educated feminist who has also never been married & based on what I have seen in my household it’s really hard to reconcile with just one view so I’ve come up with my happy medium. I plan on getting a job that pays very well & my hope is that my husband does too. I feel like my husband should do w/e possible to put a roof over our heads, pay the utilities, car insurance, needs fees basically & I will worry about my wants. I can pay for my own hair/cell phone bill/clothes/credit cards etc because I would like to keep that power. I still expect him to take me out on dates & vacations & I will not be selfish with the extra cash I get to save by spoiling my dutiful hubby. I’ve seen the cost women pay for having a man who provides 100% for them financially.

    1. Anne Chia

      Thank you for stopping by. To each their own, as long as both parties are happy with the arrangement and nobody feels used. Goodluck with finding that excellent job and a good man

      1. Frank Allen

        This man paying all the bills is very much an African culture, not a Western one. There are always exceptions but it’s not common. We think completely different in the ‘Western’ world. We just share everything, bills and chores. We don’t ever think anything past it. I’m not sure why Africans are so offended by the money dynamics but I guess it’s just such a strict culture. Our men will end up paying a bit more because they will probably buy 2 of every 3 date meals. In good relationships no one is actually counting who payed what and how much. Money is just used for whatever is necessary by whoever at the time. You are as one and many even have shared bank accounts. Just different cultures.

  13. gordy

    WOW in a world were women claim equality that does not seem equal to me. when u think the man should pay for everything .equality goes out the window quick when it comes to money !!!

  14. BRad

    I think bills should be split based on income. So if the man makes 75% more than then his women, she old pays 25% of the bills. Unless she is a fulltime house wife then the man pays 100%. This way both add value to the relationship. What about blended family’s? Things get way harder and if the man has to pay for everything and his new wife has kids from another relationship… This is why splitting bills based on income is the best way.

  15. Dakota

    A man should pay for everything. Why should a woman cook and clean the house? Why should i have to do a mans laundy, wash our sheets? Please tell me why? and at the same time be expected to go grocery shopping and cook/ prepare breakfast, lunch and dinner. That’s absolutely ridiculous. I feel like UGLY women are the ones who conform to this paying BS. It angers me! There are plenty of men who would pay for everything without questioning it. I am a beautiful woman and have always gone for attractive men. I think this is the problem. A more unnatractive man is more willing to support a woman to the fullest.
    My current boyfriend expects me to pay. I make 24k a year and he makes 80 k. How TF does that even make sense. Im leaving for his ignorance. Thats a tight ass man. You expect me to pay rent, buy groceries, split bills a have sex with you? Get the F out of here.

    1. David

      I totally agree with you. The man should always pay. My wife runs up credit cards all the time but I have to pay them, but I dont mind. Women who feel the way we do should get together and form they’re own site. If a husband wants his wife to work, a wife should learn to be a total Bi_ch and say NOOOO!

    2. BJ

      Well if man and woman are both working then depending on schedules there is no wanting breakfast lunch and dinner made. Also a man can do all of that house stuff. I know I can. My mom worked two jobs and went to school. Taught me to cook Clean sort clothes and fend for myself as a man. Honestly other than sex and a baby a man dont need a woman!

  16. AMC

    How about people stop bitching about who pays for this or that and worry more about making a system that works for everyone. I’m so sick of this pathetic society where a woman feels like the man should pay for everything. A man and a woman should cater to one another as the book says (since everyone seems to be into God) So many relationships will die because people are on this stupid road on who should do this and that. How about how much does this person love me for myself and not petty temporary objects that comes and goes. Women what will you do if your man gets laid off who was making that 50k pay? Do you love him enough to look past that and stay with him Or do you think to leave him? If you leave then that man is most likely better off without someone petty and selfish like you. Men don’t fall for this trap. Women half of the time still don’t bust they ass for the man even if he is providing. Women stop thinking sex is your gift to your man… TF is wrong with you? It takes two and the man does most of the work in bed anyway. Couples should deal with their issues and money status as a damn couple. No picking sides and no living by the Bible since most of us on here aren’t actually living by it anyway, but love to quote scripture from the book. Ugh! This world is so fucked up people have no clue. I think people don’t know what was meant by providing. That doesn’t mean get your woman some $500 shoes when she is unhappy when you have some way more important to do then you tend to that (like keeping a roof over your head) that is how you provide. It doesn’t mean the man has to pay for everything or the woman, it is more controlled than what we try to make it. Nothing wrong with making her happy, but I’m going to get the car fixed than buy her some real but still fake hair to sew in. Do you people actually think, since they say Jesus was married, that he paid for everything? No. He made his wife happy most likely treating her with respect, love and affection.. not some form of money. This world has become so driven by material shit that we will never become that type 1 civilization we should have been already.

  17. Sydne burke

    David I find your connects interesting, I’m a male by the way . So in return what is your wife’s role? Example if you take on full responsibility on the financial side then she must take on the nurturing side fully?

  18. Simplyserene416

    Yes, men should provide and protect his wife, and not need her financially. On the other hand women shouldn’t be gold diggers.

  19. Efosa

    It painful to hear how pipo reason. and is obvious some women will Neva get husband. to me, both shud be responsible, esp w en d woman earns more. marriage is no competition

  20. larry

    I think people are not thinking of the consequences of have the man pay all the bills in the era. Back when it was common for men to pay for everything a woman had to do everything he told her to do. Watch denzel Washington in the movie “fences”. Today you tell a women what to do she’ll mouth off like crazy. Marriages don’t last either like they use to. I knew a man that paid for everything in his marriage and his wife kept her money. When they got a divorce she was able to get the best lawyer money can buy and he had to defend himself. Let’s just say he’s living in a hotel right now. Point being both parties should pay!

  21. Will

    Women should get their butts off that couch and go to work. Women are really lazy nowadays. Women should be productive and not lazy leeches. Women should pay 50% of the bills. If the woman is not paying the bills, then she should pay for vacations or save her money so the couple can invest it in something or buy a house. If a woman wants to use a man for his money, then she’s the same as a prostitute, don’t see much difference. A man who pays for everything will always be broke. Not only will he have to pay all the bills, he will have to give her money on top of it! That’s financially devastating. You will always be broke! Not worth it….I’d rather be single and rich then be married and broke.

  22. BJ

    I honestly think there some people on this thread that are not being realistic. Women fought for the right to work and vote many years ago. And you can tell the way the economy is set up that the change has been in full effect. If you think it’s okay to watch a man in this Era work himself to death while a woman do so little or just a housewife or even make money and not contribute your insane! If it takes two then two has to have each others back on all fronts. I don’t care if I made a million a year! A wife of mines will work! Pay bills! And add some of that traditional chivalry my way too. Two incomes are better than one! To those who feel that old traditional way is better will die early and his wife’s independent side will be hurting on her own. There would be less women working and more men with better salaries then. Try to pay every bill including food, dates, kids, and her personal needs with two minimum wage jobs or even a few dollars above minimum wage and see how hostile a man becomes. Stop with the madness!

    1. Sydne burke

      It’s depends. My girlfriend wants to move in with me and she said she doesn’t want to be sole responsible to cook and clean because she hates doing it it should be equally shared. In my response then the bills should be shared because that’s not fair at all I pay all the bills and still have to cook and
      Clean . So she said she rather contribute to bills equally , her choice , the option I gave her was I would pay the bills and all she has to pay for is the cable and wifi and cook and clean she didn’t agree now ladies be honest what’s your assessment of that?????

    2. Frank Allen

      Your comment is exactly right. If women want men to pay everything it is the government they need to complain to for not making men’s salaries equivalent to 2 full time wages. And abolish the equal gender pay that they have been advocating so hard for. When a standard family house costs half a million dollars to buy nowadays, this tradition is not compatible with modern times at all. Our family linage wouldn’t even be on this earth if our great grandmas were not going to be with great grandpa with out him paying for half a mill house, SUV, holidays to Hawaii. If they want to be old fashioned in their tradition then they should be old fashioned in their attitude.

  23. Adex

    Only men without balls pay for everything. I will definitely not raise my daughter to expect a man to pay everything or that she can just pitch in whatever she feels like at any time. She has to work towards funding goals mutually agreed upon by both parties, the man isnt a financial slave neither is she a domestic slave. They will both find that balance and agree to what works. Not just waiting for a man to kill and bring home while she watches TV

  24. Joe

    When my wife and I got married I was working she was not and she was expecting 6 months afterwards so we decided it would be best for the kids if she was to be a stay @ home mom @ least until the three kids were out of school. Once the kids were out of school she eventually babysat for $50.00 a week and then picked up a part time job just to get out of the house. She never made enough to really contribute to the household finances. Eventually she got a full time job and her role was to pay for groceries and all the relatives and our children’s presents. At first it worked out great then gradually she was buying less and less groceries and less presents and sometimes none at all. Now our kids are all grown up and our 5 grandkids range from 18 months to 7 years old and it is like pulling teeth to even talk about retirement goals or what she is in debt for. Her credit cards are maxed out and she had her car totaled and I asked her how much she could afford to pay a month for a replacement and she gave me a number “$150.00 a month. After going through her credit card statements she tucks away in a draw I found at least 8k in debt and I was furious. I pay all the bills and paid our house off myself and pay everything from health insurance to electric bills and when I found out how much she was in debt I was livid. I came up with a solution that she could consolidate her loans and cut up her cards and she informed me that she already took out a loan six months ago and paid off half her credit card bills and never told me about it. I was so angry I felt betrayed and that it was not only a sneaky thing to do but also effects my credit which is golden and I owe no one . I retired five years ago and paid my mortgage off and only buy what I can afford and now I am worried and feel like my wife is dragging me down.

  25. PW

    wow. looks like this is a touchy subject to some people lol. When in what age have men became enable to be a/the provider. they are built and created to protect and provide for his wife and his family. Single mothers provide, protect, and try to achieve their education all at once, and there is a problem with men providing for his family ?? How is a women supposed to do a mans job which is work, AND come home and cook, clean, make sure her husband is doing alright, AND make sure every one in the household is emotionally stable ?? If a women also has to work, then the man should also have to cook, clean, and make sure everyone is emotionally stable, no problem. Why have men become lazy and spoiled to a point where he questions his ability to do his job. The women is the man’s rock and empath to ensure him to continue going, she pushes him to work harder and most of the time men can provide because he know his wife believes in him and depends on him and makes him feel like he’s in charge which most men love. but at the same time if the women wants to work that fine. being independent is great. but the choice should be hers. what are u complaining for ? why, when there a men right now who don’t mind and actually DOES provide for his family without questioning it.

    and that’s my 9 cents.

    1. Frank Allen

      Who cares I’m over this idle chatter. I live a damn happy life and my woman likes me happy. She likes working, life is boring without. And I am happy because I get to spend some money on my hobbies. I pay about 3/4 of bills. We don’t burden society by having 10 children so we are happy.

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